Jon and Kate, It's Not Too Late...Continued from page 1
Dr. Beverly Rodgers
The reason I came to this conclusion is because I understood all too well what they might be feeling, and my heart went out to them. As a child reared by a mentally ill mother in rural Tennessee, I, too, felt protective of my children and did not want them exposed to her unhealthy influence. My father could not take her abuse, so he left my three siblings and me to weather the storm without him. Physical abuse was a regular occurrence in my home, but this did not sting nearly as much as the verbal abuse. I carried so much shame that I moved three thousand miles away to go to college in Los Angeles, only to find out that geographic cures do not work. It took years for me to realize that the real cure comes from the Lord. It is His unconditional love that heals our childhood soul wounds and frees our future. The Bible says in Jeremiah 30:17, “I will give you back your health and heal your wounds” (nlt).
In our newest book, Becoming a Family that Heals, published by Focus on the Family and Tyndale (September 2009), my husband, Tom, and I write about our painful pasts and how the Lord healed us and helped us have successful careers as therapists and be healthy parents to our two grown daughters. There are six healing premises in the book. Here are two that can really speak to Jon and Kate’s situation:
1. Whether you believe it or not, your childhood does affect your adult relationships.
2. To the degree you have been wounded, you can wound or be wounded by those closest to you.
I watched as Kate bossed Jon and Jon bossed the kids. This generational pattern does not have to continue. My message to the Gosselins is this: God can heal the wounds of your past and the wounds of the present in your marriage. He can be a mother and father to both of you if you will only let Him. Jon and Kate, it is not too late, and I know of at least eight wonderful reasons why!
Published June 23, 2009.
Drs. Tom and Beverly Rodgers have been Christian counselors for over 30 years. They practice at Rodgers Christian Counseling and the Institute for Soul Healing Love in Charlotte, North Carolina. Dr. Tom also has a master’s degree in human development, and Dr. Bev has a master’s degree in marital and family therapy. Together they have written three books:
Soul-Healing Love,
Adult Children of Divorced Parents, and
The Singlehood Phenomenon. They have appeared on NBC, NPR, and the BBC. Together they facilitate relationship workshops for couples and singles across the globe. They have been married for over 30 years and have two grown daughters.