At 6:45 A.M. I walked into Barbara's hospital room and found her peacefully asleep. At least she was resting-I sure couldn't.The IV hooked up to her arm told me this was for real. The doctor told me the surgery my wife would face that day would be a lengthy procedure-I hoped it would be about five hours, but I had a hunch it would be much longer.
Barbara and I had traveled to Oklahoma City to correct a problem that, on four occasions, had caused her heart to race at over 300 beats per minute. When she suffered two such episodes in 1990, we decided to seek treatment from a doctor who had developed a new surgical procedure for people with Barbara's problem.
As I sat there that morning, waiting for her to wake up, a horde of fears went through my mind.
As I went to the waiting room with Barbara's parents and friends, I had no idea of what lessons God had waiting for me. What if they damage her heart further, rather than repair it? I thought. Am I about to say good-bye to my wife, friend and partner? I felt so helpless, knowing that there was nothing I could do. Except pray.
At 1:00 P.M. a partially informed receptionist in the waiting area told me that everything was going according to the plan, even though Barbara's heart had taken off racing a few times. "But they got it under control," she said. A combination of things-the look on her face as she talked to the nurse, and the way she reported back to me-told me that more was going on than she was telling me!
Finding peace in the midst of such fear was elusive, but it finally came in getting alone, reading the Psalms and praying. Isaiah 26:3 became a reality because I knew I could trust in God. I learned that it is really tough during suspense-filled times to keep the mind steadfast and full of faith.