Moments Together for Couples 12/26

by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

2 Corinthians 13:11
Finally, brethren, rejoice, be made complete, be comforted, be like-minded.

In my relationship with Dennis I am confident he understands me, my role and my struggles. We have spent endless hours talking together to create this rapport. He has been with me through many difficult times. He has been a "substitute mother" to the children when I've been out of the house, so he knows a great deal about that role and its responsibilities.

But there is a point beyond which he cannot go. Only another wife and mother can really share the pain I felt in childbirth, my struggles with understanding my role in marriage, or how some days I feel like I'm just a "Need Machine" that everyone comes to and pushes a button. Only a woman can join with me in prayer about issues like these. Other mothers can provide the support and motivation I need to carry the daily weight of bringing up children.

I need a deep affinity with two or three women, and I have it. It's wonderful. I am affirmed every time we talk by phone, get together or correspond. And when I feel good about myself, Dennis feels less pressure to try to meet all of my needs.

May I urge you men to encourage your wives to find at least one other woman with whom they can identify? This friendship should not take your place as her primary source of approval, but can supplement the self-image you are helping your wife build.

Here's another tip: Give your wife a weekend off to get away for a retreat with a friend. On Sunday evening, your wife will return with a better perspective of herself. She'll be encouraged and built up in ways that you, as a man, could never accomplish. This retreat is especially needed if your wife is occupied with young children or works outside the home, thus leaving little time to develop friendships.

Dennis and I encourage you to resist the tendency to be threatened by your wife's outside friendships with women. Give her time and encouragement to develop these friendships. You'll never regret it.

Prayer:

That God will give your wife at least one "soul mate" who can identify with her season of life.

Discuss: Discuss your wife's friendships. Too few? Too many? Right kind? Does she have enough time to pursue them? What are her friendship needs as a woman in the stage of life she is in right now?

Would you like your own copy of this devotional?