July 28, 2008
Bearing With One Another
by Sarah Jennings, Crosswalk.com Family Editor
Bear with each other
and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as
the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them
all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3: 13-14
Sometimes I think the biggest stumbling block to living the
Christian life exists in our interactions with other Christians. Those who
profess faith in Christ are very capable of hurting each other – perhaps even
unusually “gifted” at it.
Yes, fellowship within the Church can be wonderfully
fulfilling, offering true glimpses of the unity we will experience in heaven. But
(as life frequently reminds us) we’re not in heaven yet, so our relationships
with one another often fall short of the “Beatific Vision.”
So what do we do when we’re faced with failure in our
relationships, especially when our fellow Christians fail to meet our
expectations? Much has been said about the necessity of forgiving trespassers.
Scripture makes it clear we are to imitate Christ and show mercy to those who
have wronged us, and counselors have written extensively on the personal
freedom one finds in forgiving even the most terrible sins. But I think sometimes
it’s not the huge transgressions that challenge us most. Sometimes it’s the smaller
infractions that wear on our souls.
Perhaps you’ve observed imperfections in another that open
personal wounds, rub you the wrong way or just plain annoy you. Perhaps there
is someone in your life that consistently brings out your ugly side or whose
presence simply symbolizes something you desire but have not achieved. This
kind of pain is often absorbed interiorly. There’s no public stand to take, no
12-step program designed to walk you through. Over time, we may find that we
begin to keep count of this person’s failings. We may catch ourselves gossiping
about them or avoiding them in our daily lives. Each infraction is like a small
stone that eventually builds a wall around the heart, a wall that stands not
only between you and that person but also between you and Christ.
One of my favorite Christian heroes, St. Therese of Lisieux,
faced such a situation in her community of cloistered Carmelite nuns. Behind
the walls of her tranquil convent, relational strife simmered. Some nuns had
maddeningly annoying habits that interfered with prayerful contemplation
whereas others displayed a variety of mundane vices like laziness or sloppiness.
St. Therese had a personal dislike for a particular nun who often acted unhappy
and critical. She sought ways to avoid this person in her daily tasks – until
she realized she was failing to love one of God’s children. Therese had personally experienced Christ's love, with full knowledge of her invisible imperfections, so how could
she justify failing to love this nun just because her faults were visible?
As her heart changed, so did her actions. Therese chose to
smile at this young woman every time she passed her. She displayed unusual
grace in their interactions, always ready to help with a task or share a kind
word.
The change in Therese’s demeanor did not go unnoticed. This
nun made note to others that it seemed Therese had an unusual affection for her,
and she began to return Therese’s smiles.
I realize I would do well to imitate Therese more often. I
struggle with the small acts of charity, the little things that only God notices.
Yet, the decision to love in even the most seemingly insignificant ways
transforms hearts. And while Therese’s actions may not have brought on world
peace, they brought Christ’s peace to her world.
Intersecting Faith & Life: While it’s good to speak out against wrong, some situations
call for a silent gesture of love and grace. This week, perform a small act of
kindness towards a person you find challenging to love. Remember that Christ
knows all of our faults, yet His love never wavers.
Further Reading
Matthew 18: 15
The Command to Forgive