Hit By Friendly Fire: What To Do When Christians Hurt You...Continued from page 6

Here is how Matthew Henry summed up the fact of the sovereignty of God and the painful and even sinful things that are sent to us: “God often brings good out of evil, and promotes the designs of His providence even by the sins of men; not that He is the author of sin, far be it from us to think, so; but His infinite wisdom so overrule events, that . . . the issue, that ends in his praise [was at first] . . . to His dishonor; as [in] the putting of Christ to death.”4

We need to learn to say with Jonathan Edwards, “Absolute sovereignty is what I love to ascribe to God . . . .It has often been my delight.”5

At a conference I attended recently, I listened intently to Skip Ryan, pastor of Park Cities Presbyterian Church in Dallas, Texas. Skip was speaking about his struggles with applying God’s sovereignty to His own life. He said that there was a time when his wife, Barbara, put a sticky note on the bathroom mirror that said, “When will you stop trying to be the general manager of the world?”

Ouch. Any General Managers of the World out there? As one recovering controller to another, you know there is only one. And that is good news. Because the crucial step in coming to terms with any pain that has come against us, including getting hurt by someone close to us, is to say, “God, You are in control. What do You want me to learn?” This releases people to let God deal with them. It focuses your pain, not on someone who hurt you, but on the God who has led you to your own Calvary. Or as Malcolm Muggeridge once put it: “Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message.”6

Grasping God’s sovereignty ? not as a theological concept, but as an act of utter submission and childlike faith ? will move you from the status of a victim to a victor.

We have taken note of two steps: Take it to the cross, Take off your crown. But all of it comes together in the third step.

Go to Your Gethsemane

Paul says that he wants to identify his sufferings with Christ so “that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:11). Deciding that his prison was sent by God, through even the sins of brethren, in order to cause him to know Christ’s resurrection was a crucial step for Paul. Deciding that his brothers’ awful act of treachery was under the sovereign control of God was a moment of faith for Joseph.

Gethsemane is the place where, like Jesus, like Paul, like Joseph, you come face-to-face with your crucifixion and with the fact that God is in control. Note carefully: If there is to be resurrection ? a new life to emerge from the pain, the betrayal, the hurtful words ? there must be a crucifixion, and if there is to be a crucifixion ? by the Father for the good of many ? then there must be a Gethsemane moment when you say, “Not my will but yours.” There must be a moment when you say, even when the shadow of pain is falling over you, “They meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.”