What Women Wish Their Preacher Knew...Continued from page 5

A woman from South Carolina writes: “I wish our pastor wouldn’t use so many male?oriented and sports illustrations to make his preaching points. Some women can’t relate to them much at all.” But another wants her pastor to know that “just because we might not understand sports examples doesn’t mean we cannot understand spiritual/doctrinal issues.”

Says another: “I would like for any pastor to understand that no matter what he says in his sermons ... what he is comes through louder and clearer.”

The Three Big “Preaching Mistakes”

While some pastors may think these following three issues are trivial, be assured that they are not trivial to the women in your church. Women, in unison and in all seriousness, tell me pastors must?at all costs?avoid making these three major mistakes when they preach to women:

• Do not make jokes about women that are insulting, demeaning, or rudely stereotypical.

A popular, highly admired evangelical preacher stood in the pulpit and asked: “Do you know the difference between an angry woman and a Doberman pinscher?” (The answer): “Lipstick.” Sixty percent of the congregation did not laugh. Nor did they hear anything else he said after that crude joke. A Kentucky woman writes: “Women want respect from the pulpit?no jokes about women or degrading comments toward women.”

• Don’t ever mention or refer to a woman’s age.

Like it or not, many women are self?conscious about their age?especially after they have celebrated their 25th birthday! They cringe on Mother’s Day when the roses-laden pastor inevitably asks from the pulpit: “Will our oldest mother stand up?” And pastors wonder why no one stands! On Mother’s Day at one Southern Baptist church, a pastor thought he was honoring elderly Mrs. Jones, when he asked: “Mrs. Jones, you are the oldest mother in the congregation. Will you please lead us in our closing prayer?” Mrs. Jones slowly stood up, white-knuckled the pew in front of her, and said loudly: “No, I won’t!”

• Not viewing women as unique and individual.

Today’s Christian women have much in common, but they are also individuals. That’s why, when Lazarus died, Jesus comforted Martha and her sister Mary in different ways. Martha needed a theological dissertation about the resurrection, so Jesus preached to her on an academic level. Mary, on the other hand, needed someone simply to cry with her. So Jesus wept. (See John 11.)

Just as all men don’t like fly fishing or baseball or aren’t all mechanically inclined, women aren’t the same either. For example, while some women love to cook, other women hate to cook. Some women like to shop; other women hate to shop. Some single women want to get married; other single women want to stay single. Some women want to become mothers; other women don’t want children. You get the idea.

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Denise George is an author and speaker who resides in Birmingham, Alabama. Her newest book is What Women Wish Pastors Knew (Zondervan).

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Notes.
1. Alice P. Mathews, Preaching That Speaks to Women (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Baker Academic, 2003), 73.
2. ”A Faith Revolution Is Redefining ‘Church’ According to New Study,” The Barna Update, October 10, 2005, www.barna.org/FlexPage.aspx?PageCMD=Print (accessed October 10, 2005).
3. ”Americans Draw Theological Beliefs from Diverse Points of View,” The Barna Group, October 8, 2002, www.barna.org/FlexPage.arpx?Page=BarnaUpdate&BarnaUpdate7D=722 (accessed June 28, 2005).
4. Thom S. Rainer, High Expectations: The Remarkable Secret for Keeping People in Your Church (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1999), 41.
5. Philip Yancey, The Bible Jesus Read (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan, 1999), 21.
6. Quoted in Julie?Allvson Ieron, “Spiritual Life,” Today’s Christian Woman, ChristianityToday.com., www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2005/004/11.54.html (accessed March 10, 2006).
7. Annie Dillard, Teaching a Stone to Talk (NewYork: HarperCollins, 1988), 40?41.
8. Mathews, Preaching That Speaks to Women, 63.