Footsteps in the Garden: Guilt and Grace...Continued from page 2

Richard Nystrom

Denial brings banishment. Banishment and rejection, by the spouse that cared about me, the father I loved, the teacher I idolized, the public that praised and adored me, my God who trusted me. Banishment is rooted in denial of responsibility. The choice is guilt, shame, and judgement versus banishment. Or is it? Is there no way back? Can those wrapped in their buried shame find healing and peace and return to the presence of God? Is Eden lost forever?

It is dark. A solitary figure is kneeling. In the shadow a stones throw away one can see three men fast asleep. Footsteps are heard in this Garden called Gethsemane. Muffled by the distance, at first, they became quite noisy as they draw near. In contrast to Eden. It is the betrayer in search of the betrayed. The guilty one is looking for the innocent one. The cry of the trampling crowd of soldiers, temple priests, assorted others and Judas is "Jesus, where are you?"

Jesus does not cower or hide. He stands tall. He is guiltless and innocent. He, too, has been afraid, however. He is not afraid of what he has done, not afraid of receiving deserved punishment. He is fearful of his ability to accept the undeserved punishment He is about to receive. "Father, if it be Thy will, let this cup pass." Then it happened.. Betrayed with a sign of affection, He is led away to be tried, convicted, and executed.

Do you see what we have here? It is God become flesh. God becoming the vulnerable one. In Jesus we are reliving the broken relationship between us and God. We are reminded that Adam and his descendants are responsible for the loss of Eden. Jesus is God's way of returning us to Eden. The way back is the way of confession and repentance.

But what is the response to such news? The response is hostility. Like Adam, Adam's children accuse the accuser. The innocent one is the trouble maker. He has offended them in revealing their sin. He has offended them by opening up the old wound. So, He is declared guilty. His punishment is suffering and death. They kill the one whose pure presence is an affront.

They do not realize their judgement is upon themselves. "This is what we really deserve for what we have done." They hope to remove the sense of guilt and shame by punishing the one who exposed their guilt.

Jesus , the innocent one, takes on himself consciously and freely the punishment of the guilty party. He suffers the consequence of the guilty ones deeds. God, in Jesus, is taking on the punishment Adam felt he deserved in order to restore the relationship. The innocent one must accept the fact that it is the betrayed who forgives the betrayer. It is the one who is hurt, who must reveal a willingness to bear the punishment the guilty one deserves.

The footsteps Adam heard in the Garden of Eden were his own guilty steps. It was he, who accused himself. God came not to accuse but to offer forgiveness and grace. The footsteps we hear in the Garden of Gethsemane are our own guilty steps. Accusing the "pure one" for making us feel impure is self-accusation projected on to the holy one.

We need not cower in fear for he comes to offer grace, to offer a renewed relationship. We think we deserve judgement. We would rather punishment than grace. How else do we explain so much self-destructive behavior; alcohol abuse, drugs, cigarettes, the mishandling of relationships?

It is only when we see our vengeance delivered against the innocent one do we see the truth about who is angry at whom. Shame and guilt are self accusations and the enemy we have to face is ourselves.

It was their unwillingness to face themselves that banishment came to Adam and Eve. Our unwillingness to confront ourselves keeps us from the presence of God, drives us away from each other. Jesus came to restore to us the intimacies of Eden, not to banish us further. He came to declare God as friend not foe. He came to tell us that guilt and shame are self accusations. It is ourselves we have to face in the presence of God. Accepting responsibility for what we are and what we do will end our exile from Eden. The peace will be restored.

Footsteps in the garden . . . Do they make you tremble? Are you ready to confess your failures before God and those you have offended and betrayed? Jesus promised to those who are willing to accept responsibility for their sin and confess them before God forgiveness not judgement, peace not punishment, grace and not guilt.

Guilt in the Garden of Eden. Grace offered in the Garden of Gethsemane. The footsteps you hear should make you tremble with joy for they are the footsteps of One who loves you.

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Richard E. Nystrom is a retired Presbyterian (USA) pastor who has served in churches in Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Tennessee, Florida,West Virginia and North Carolina, and has served in three interims since retirement.